The Great Flood
by BlackTheWhite
Summary: Demyx decides to flood the entire Castle That Never Was, and the rest of Organization 13 makes the best of it. But what happens when Demyx takes Axel and Roxas to the Land of Dragons while Roxas is in nothing but his boxers? Crackfic. Akuroku. Oneshot.


**The Great Flood**

---------

**AU**:

I blame this entirely on my friends. This entire thing is based on a conversation/rp we had.

**Disclaimer: **

I own none of the characters or places.

**--------**

It had all started when Xigbar had decided that today would be 'tease and pick on Roxas' day. After countless of jokes aiming at insulting the blonde and his height, Roxas had gotten quite fed up. There was one way to end it. He went to find his favorite pyro in order to do the dirty work for him.

"Ax, Xigbar won't stop picking on me again, can you set him on fire for me? Pretty please?" The blonde asked, speaking the magical words that would set off Axel in a protective and angry craze.

Not two seconds later and a flaming chakram spun passed Roxas, whirling up at Xigbar who was in a heated card game with Luxord and Larxene, while hanging upside down in the air.

"Xig, love. Look behind you, would you?" Larxene grumbled, while picking up a card.

The shooter glanced behind him and jerked his head up towards his chest to avoid getting it lopped off. Unfortunately for him, the flaming chakram nicked off the tip of his ponytail.

At the same time, Luxord had begun to shuffle around cards with the help of Larxene, changing them to favor themselves while Xigbar was preoccupied.

"MAAAANN! Of all things, Axel! Cheap shot!" The nobody moaned, mourning the loss of the tip of his ponytail.

A smug grin formed itself on Axels' lips as an arm protectively wrapped around Roxas. "Serves you right."

Roxas buried his face into the side of Axel, in an attempt to hide the fact that he was nearly in tears from silently laughing over the whole incident.

Xigbar decided against further action, returning his attention to the card game. "GOTCHA NOW!" He exclaimed, setting down his five cards from his hand and displaying his 'four of a kind' to the blonde.

"Royal flush." Luxord smugly replied, setting down his cards on the table.

"Shit." Larxene grumbled, laying down her hand that amounted to nothing.

"Clever little sneak. You CHEATED!"

"Cheat? Never! You know the rules, Xig." The Brit stated while picking up his cup of tea and sipping at it.

Grumbling, the cloak was dropped onto the floor as Luxord began shuffling his cards once again.

"What about Larxene?!"

"I'm exempt. Do you really want to see me with no clothes on?" Larxene flashed him one of her infamous shark like smiles.

There was a small chuckle from beside Larxene, as the blonde set down his cup of tea. The look on Xigbar's face, one of pure horror, only caused his chuckle to quickly escalate into a fit of laughter.

A single eyebrow arched as Larxene leaned over, eyeing the gambler. "Feh. It's not that funny…" She grumbled. A sudden whiff of rum caused the female to glance at the cup of tea on the table. "Are you drunk..?"

Number X lifted a handful of cards to his face, trying to hide behind them as he continued to giggle. "Pass!"

"It smells like burned hair in here.." Marluxia mumbled as he wandered passed the group. Digging into his pockets, he brought out a handful of flower petals and proceeded to toss them around the room. He even went as far as to put a few on Xigbar's head before slipping out once more with a final remark, "Is anyone going to put out the fire?"

Heads quickly turned, eyes all searching in an almost paranoid manner as they tried to figure out what Marluxia was talking about. Off to the side of the room, the curtains in front of a window had engulfed in flames that were quickly spreading towards the floor and ceiling.

"How the hell did you not smell that, Axel?" Roxas snapped, giving the infamous pyro a narrowed glance.

"I'm use to it?"

Luxord had started to gather up his cards to keep them from burning up in the flame, "Someone fetch Demyx."

As if someone had rang a little bell, the very blonde can prancing into the living room only to stop and look at the group. Then he noticed the fire, and that magical sitar appeared in his hands. Before anyone could stop him he strummed down and shouted, "Dance, water, dance!"

Needless to say, the entire room was flooded, and the water quickly took over the rest of the castle as well. Demyx over killed it.

"SHI—" Roxas got cut off as the wall of water engulfed him.

Axel, ditching Roxas, had made a run for it. He didn't get far and soon found himself completely soaked as well.

Xigbar had successfully avoided the wave of water by hanging himself up by the ceiling. The same couldn't be said for Luxord though, who looked extremely irritated as he attempted to collect his soaked deck of cards. Larxene had taken refuge on top of the table and stood up on it, her feet and legs only getting wet by the wave.

Zexion suddenly portaled in and took a moment to stare at the water that engulfed him. "When did we get a pool?"

Demyx had taken the liberty to begin swimming around in the flooded room in a floaty toy shaped like a duck. Looking over, he waved at Zexion and flashed him a smile. "I saved them all!" Obviously, he was quite pleased with his feat and wanted to get all the praise in the world.

"I wish I could congratulate you but honestly..I don't believe this is worth a 'good job', Demyx." The slate haired nobody answered, shaking his head. "My books going to get wet.." He moaned, holding it above the water level and making his way towards the nearest door to escape while he could.

Larxene glanced over at Axel and Roxas, who were clinging to each other, both looking like drowned rats. Immediately the girl fell into a fit of laughter, "Mayday, mayday! THE SPIKES ARE GONE! THE SPIKES ARE GONE!"

Yet another chakram was chucked, but it missed its target by a long shot due to the fact that Axel couldn't see behind his curtain of red hair.

A howl of laughter exploded from the girl, "Nice shot! Guess we can't call you flame-boy anymore! More like STEAM-boy!"

A string of curses left the redhead, along with a few mumbled threats towards the female.

Marluxia had once again reappeared, and now was making himself comfortable sitting on a giant lily pad.

Where it had come from, who knew?

"Explain to me, once again, why they recruited him?"

"Everyone looks so clean, and happy! Demyx did well!" Demyx chimed out, still gloating about his work even though nearly the entire group was mumbling and brooding.

"You're not a very lively bunch! Maybe I should _jumpstart_ things.."

"NO!" The group shrieked.

Larxene simply cackled, amused at how easy it was to inflict fear on all of them.

"Could be worse.." Roxas grumbled while shedding off his cloak and shirt and swimming around, trying to make the best of the situation. Obviously Demyx wasn't going to fix things anytime soon.

Larxene made her way over to Marluxia's lily pad before exclaiming, "Pool party!" and then pulling out a few bottles of alcohol. Xigbar and Luxord followed suite and joined the two on the lily pad.

"Hello my little firefly, did you get anything good?" Marluxia greeted the blonde nobody.

"The _whole_ thing." A video camera was waved about that she held, that shark like smile appearing on her lips once more.

A door at one side of the room opened, Vexen wandering in with a book in his hands, reading intently. It seemed he didn't even take notice of the flood as he waded through, making his way towards the other side of the room.

Demyx, who had taken up fishing apparently, threw out his line just as the scientist was passing by. It snagged on the hood of his cloak, and that was the end of it. Before Vexen could even say anything, Demyx had reeled him in and shoved him into a box. "Creepy frogman is off to Sea World!"

"That's why he was recruited.." Luxord pointed out.

"I did my community service! Xemnas, can I have my badge now?!"

A door opened, and the leader stuck his head in and shouted, "Number IX, we are NOT boyscouts!" The door slammed, and the leader of the group had disappeared once more.

Roxas, who was still swimming about, decided to shed off his pants as well to make swimming easier.

Axel, who had shuffled into the rafters of the room suddenly found himself with a nosebleed. He quickly decided to jump into the water and latch himself onto the blonde.

"Ack! Axel, be careful. You almost pulled my boxers off." The blonde complained.

"Whoops?" The redhead shifted, as if subtly attempting to make the other nobodies boxers fall off.

There was a loud smack, followed by a groan as Axel clutched the side of his head. "Owch! Abuse! Someone call the police!"

"Axel, if we were to call the police YOU would get arrested for sexual molestation, harassment, being a pedophile…do I need to continue? I'm sure I'm missing something.." Larxene hummed out, before taking a swig out of the bottle of alcohol in her hand.

Needless to say there wasn't a reply from the redhead, whose face had brightened to a shade that easily rivaled his hair.

Another door opened, a head popping in, scowl permanently fixed on the owners face. "Superior demands that this mess is cleaned up. Also, number II and X are assigned the mission of retrieving IV from SeaWorld. XI and XII are to go and get dinner for tonight. Superior is craving Chinese and the kitchen is flooded. He says to make sure to bring him lots of those little cookies with the papers in them.." Saix paused for a moment, before flashing Axel and Roxas a grin.

"I don't like the look he's giving us.." Axel mumbled, eyeing the nobody warily.

"Clean up duty!"

---------

A few hours later, and there was still no sign of the other members of Organization 13. Despite the fact that the missions they were given couldn't have taken so long. The castle itself still remained in a mess, but the majority of the water had been drained out. The objects in it still remained water logged, though. There wasn't much that could be done for the furniture except to wait for it to dry.

Roxas wandered on into the living room, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a towel. "It's drained out, but it's still really damp in there."

Axel, who had long changed into some dry clothes, had preoccupied himself by trying to put things back in their cupboards in the kitchen. A lot of the food was ruined, and a lot of the plates, silverware and whatever else was on the counters had broken or moved during the flood.

"That sentence could really be taken the wrong way if someone were to walk into the conversation right now.."

A scoff escaped Number XIII, "You're such a perv."

"It's not my fault!" Axel exclaimed, desperately trying to defend himself, "I just watched you swim around in your boxers! I can't help it!"

The towel that had been wrapped around Roxas just seconds ago flew at Axel, smacking him in the face.

"Ow! That hurt!" Axel whined, dropping the towel on the counter and rubbing his face with one hand.

Yet another snort escaped the blonde as he put a fist on one hip and rolled his eyes at the redhead, "You ought to be able to dodge that. Even DEMYX could probably..no, wait..maybe not.." His sentence trailed off as he fell into thought.

With a scoff, Axel tossed the towel back at the other nobody, "Maybe I purposely let it hit me."

"Then you're an idiot." Roxas answered, catching the towel and frowning. "Were you staring at my ass again?"

"No! Never! Why would I do such a thing?!"

Roxas eyed the other male, gazing at him with half lidded eyes, "You really suck at lying when you're being so obvious about it.."

A small chuckle escaped Axel before he tilted his head to the side, attempting to act 'cute and innocent'. "I'm being obvious? Really? Are you sure you aren't just assuming that I'm trying to cover my ass?"

"That look really doesn't work for you, Axel."

Axel couldn't help himself with the next sentence that he gushed out, "So..what look does look for me then?"

"Anything dealing with deviousness, or fire. Also apparently you can pull desperate really well."

A small chuckle escaped Axel as he leaned against the counter, emerald cat-like eyes fully focused on the blonde in front of him. "So does that mean if I look desperate you'll let me check out your ass?" He paused briefly, laughing once more. "Nevermind..I'll do it anyways.."

"Idiot."

"You like it!"

The statement was brushed aside, as Roxas didn't bother replying to it. Instead he gave a wave of his hand at the kitchen, which was still quite the mess despite Axels' 'hard work'. Roxas wasn't even sure if he had done anything. He had probably just sat around stuffing his face with whatever food that could be salvaged.

"What are we going to do with the kitchen and living room out of commission?"

A thoughtful look crossed over the older nobody, a hand lifting as he tapped on his chin and thought about the question. "Theres always my room."

He even went as far as to waggle those slender dark eyebrows of his, as if suggesting they do something inappropriate.

Axel had quite the nerve.

"Unfortunately, Axel, I'm pretty sure the rooms are flooded too. Or were you not paying attention when Zexion passed through earlier, mourning the books that had been ruined?" Roxas asked, even though he knew damn well that Axel hadn't been paying any attention.

He never did.

"Zexion? Really? I probably missed him because he's so short.."

There was a smack as the towel hit Axel in the face again, causing him to groan, "What did I do now?!"

"You're being an idiot again. That's what. I hope a midget or a dwarf comes and kicks your ass one day."

"But you kick my ass all th—"

A scream erupted as Axel was chased out of the kitchen, with Roxas at his heels, Oblivion and Oathkeeper in his hands.

"COWARD!"

"Oh come on, it was a joke! ROXAS! I LOVE YOU!"

"....Ass!"

A crash rang through the room a few seconds later, followed by a bloody murder scream that startled Roxas to the point of stopping mid-assault.

"No man should ever be able to scream that high pitched, Axel."

---------

Somewhere at the other end of the castle, Demyx was peering upward at a figure.

"Number IX. I want you to take VIII and XIII on a special mission.."

Leaning forward, the figure began whispering the mission into the musician's ear.

Demyx's face lit up, and one would of sworn he had just stepped foot into a candy store. With a wave of his hand, he disappeared into a dark portal to go get ready for the mission.

"You're horrible, Superior."

Leaning back in his throne like chair, Xemnas couldn't help but chuckle as he dragged his fingers through the long locks of blue hair that belonged to his most faithful minion. "I try."

---------

Axel wrapped his gloveless fingers around the cold metal handle to Roxas' room. They had both agreed to check out both their rooms and see how bad they were. If they were both trashed..well they'd just go to some other world until things dried up here at the castle.

"I'm scared to look.." Roxas groaned from beside Axel, watching as the door was pulled open.

As if on cue a small wave of water rushed out of the room, along with a few scattered objects of Roxas'. Yet another groan escaped Roxas as he grabbed at some of the objects, trying to keep them from floating away.

"Well that rules out your room.."

"Lets try yours.."

They both turned, making their way over towards Axels' room.

When they got there, Axel gripped the door and pulled it open. A familiar small wave of water oozed out of the room through the open door, and the redhead made feeble attempts at catching some of his possessions as they attempted to float away.

"Well..that rules out my room.." Axel grumbled, looking at his destroyed room.

Well, it was always destroyed, but it hardly looked like his room anymore. The usual piles of ashes from something burning were gone, replaced by puddles of black water. The clothes were soaked, and he could literally see his bed sagging from the amount of water it had taken in.

Lovely.

"So..where are we going to sleep then..?" Roxas asked, glancing around as he waited for some brilliant idea to strike him.

It appeared as though the brilliant idea struck Axel first.

"Camping!"

All that Axel got in return was a look that screamed, 'are you serious?'

Too bad for Roxas he was.

"Too bad we don't OWN any camping stuff, Axel.."

Demyx, as if hearing his name screamed, pranced into the room. In his arms he lugged some large objects, which oddly looked like some sleeping bags and a rolled up bag that Roxas could only assume had a tent inside.

"Where did you..?"

Demyx had been gone almost all day as well after Saix had announced missions and duties to the group. Somehow he had managed to get skipped on being given a mission, but they all assumed it wasn't a fluke. Xemnas knew how dangerous it was to give number IX a mission.

It's too bad he really had been given a mission, and one that was aimed at putting the two nobodies through hell.

"It's a secret! I pinky promised not to tell! Now come on, let's get going! I'm exciteeed!"

Before either Axel or Roxas could complain, they were both grabbed and tugged through a dark portal that Demyx had opened.

Roxas didn't even have the chance to grab some clothes.

---------

"HOLY SHIT ITS SNOW!" Axel shrieked as he stumbled into the snow as they arrived at wherever the hell it was that Demyx had taken them.

A girlish shriek filled the air from beside Axel, "COLD!"

The redhead snickered, gazing down at the blonde beside him, "Roxicle anyone?"

A few seconds passed by in silence, as Roxas contemplated the best way to kill Axel in his sleep.

Throwing up a hand, Axel positively beamed as he answered his own question, "ME! OOH! Pick ME!"

"Shut up." Roxas snapped, wrapping his arms around himself in a pitiful attempt to warm himself. "I think I'm going to be turned into eunuch by the sheer coldness of the atmosphere, if I don't die of hypothermia first."

"Hhm..was this where I was supposed to take you guys?" Demyx pondered, breaking out a piece of paper where his notes for the mission had been scribbled on. "Hey..hey guys? You think this is the Land of Dragons?"

"What the hell, Demyx?! You don't go camping in SNOW!"

"Really? But it's so nice!"

Axel decided that now would be a perfect time to interrupt, "I'm pretty warm myself."

"BREAK CAMP!" The mullet/Mohawk haired blonde exclaimed, dumping all of the camping things onto the snow.

There was a sigh from Roxas, who was shaking his head over how excited the other two were over going company.

In the snow.

"You can't break camp in the middle of a bunch of snow!"

"Fine. I'll just melt it. Then you can get rid of the water, Dem."

Together the pair set off with their new mission, moving the camping gear off to the side of what they were about to turn into the campsite.

Roxas decided that the best thing to do was to seek out warmth. The nearest form of it would be the heat that always radiated off of Axel. The guy was like a walking talking heater. He quickly ran over and jumped onto the pyro's back.

Axel stumbled as the weight slammed into his back, but quickly regained his footing and grinned as he felt arms wrapping around his neck. Moving his arms, he wrapped them around the bare legs that hung at either side of his hips to keep the blonde in place.

"You're carrying me from now on." Roxas mumbled into Axel's ear, resting his chin on the others shoulder.

"Not complaining. It got you _on_ me at least.."

There was a grumble in Axel's ear, "I'd smack you, but that would require moving.." The short blonde proceeded to bury his nose in the long red hair of Axel's.

"Heey now! Don't mess up my hair!"

A sleepy mumble escaped the blonde, "You care more about your hair than me?"

Axel could feel the others grip around him loosening slightly, a sure sign that Roxas was struggling to stay awake. Shifting, he tilted his head back and gave Roxas a warning, "You had better not fall asleep, Rox. You'll fall off my back and break that pretty little face of yours."

Naturally, there were more dangers than just that if the blonde managed to fall asleep on his back.

It wasn't likely that Axel would allow him to fall anyways.

"Trying not to. Unlike you hothead I know that saying….what was it? Something like 'you go to sleep, you never wake up'?"

There was a gasp from the other side of camp, as Demyx raced over to the other two, a worried expression plastered on his normally carefree face. "We'll DIE if we sleep?!"

Axel couldn't help but snort.

"But..but I sleep all the time! So, I'm DEAD?! Why didn't anyone tell me?!" The blonde started to pace, flailing his arms and throwing a huge dramatic fit. "So is this heaven?! Does that make Superior God?! YOU!"

Blinking multiple times, Axel pointed at himself and asked, "Me?"

"You should be in HELL! You have used God's name in VAIN!"

"……I did?"

"You call him mansex! God is AGAINST men having sex!"

"Demyx. If Mansex was God then that wouldn't be true because he has sex with Saix."

The blonde decided his precious ears couldn't handle such a statement, and he proceeded to shove his fingers in his ears and scream over Axel's voice. "LALALALALALA!"

"Not only that but this CAN'T be heaven because we've ALL had sex with men, or naughty thoughts. You included!"

There was a yelp, as Roxas yanked on a handful of bright red hair.

"I can't help it if Zexion is a smooth talker!"

It was at this time that they suddenly became aware that a few people had stopped and were staring at the three in complete bewilderment. Most of them had raised eyebrows, widened eyes and dropped jaws.

Walking into such a conversation was definitely something they probably didn't encounter very often.

Axel coughed, lifting a hand and waving at them, flashing them a fake smile.

The people whispered to each other, eyeing the three as if they were crazy as they once again started walking up the mountain pass or back down it towards the army campsite that was directly below them.

"Anyways..Demyx..back to making camp. Roxas..this is probably the ONLY time I will complain about you being on me, but it's hard to set up when you're latched onto me and I have no use of my arms."

Not to mention the weight on his back was starting to cause neck and backs pains in him. Sure, Roxas wasn't heavy but the back wasn't meant to sustain heavy weights for long periods of time.

"Then dig me out a blanket and make a fire." He sighed into Axel's neck.

Complying with the blonde's words, Axel shuffled over to the bags that Demyx had brought and began digging through them.

At the same time, Roxas slid off of Axel's back and waited impatiently for the blanket and the fire.

"Aha!"

A blanket was soon shoved in Roxas' direction, and he wasted no time in wrapping himself up in a tight cocoon. He shuffled off to a spot that had been cleared of the snow and waited for the pyro to start up a fire for him.

After a few short seconds, Axel had managed to get a fire going, using some firewood that had been in the mess of things Demyx has brought along. At least Demyx had been smart about what he had brought along for the trip. He had brought along firewood for a fire, a few blankets it seemed, as well as a tent.

Aside from that, Axel wasn't sure what was in the bags. He had yet to dig through them. Deep down he had a dreadful feeling that they'd be filled with things that weren't so useful.

His faith in the blonde was just that small.

As Roxas huddled up to the fire, Axel pointed over at the Demyx, narrowing his eyes at the nobody. "Touch the fire and I will make sure your death is certainly going to involve burning to death."

A grin appeared on the blondes lips as he lifted a hand and dragged a finger across his chest, "Cross my heart and hope to…oh.."

There was a snort from Axel, before he grabbed Demyx and dragged him over to start pitching the tent.

"NOOO! Dem wants to make a snowman!" With that said the blonde ripped himself from Axel's grip and pranced off into the surrounding snow to play in it.

Axel decided that it wasn't even worth it and started trying to figure out how to put the tent together.

Not a minute later, a round ball of snow slammed into the side of Axel's face.

"SHIT! What the hell, Demyx?!"

Roxas glanced over at the two, rolling his eyes as Axel continued to scream at Demyx. "Hey, Demyx, is than an abominable snowman over there?"

Those seemed to be the secret words, and it flipped a switch in Demyx, "OH MY GOD THE CLOSET MONSTER SENT IT AFTER ME!"

Axel watched in amusement as Demyx ran through the fire and took off up the hill, screaming bloody murder the entire way.

A whine escaped Roxas, bright eyes staring at what had been the fire just seconds before Demyx trampled through it. The heat that had been warming him up had quickly disappeared along with the flames and was wiggling its way straight through the blanket and into his bones.

With a sigh, Axel quickly made his way over and nudged at the wood, kicking it back into a pile and igniting it. Then he flopped down onto the ground beside the shivering blonde. "Idiot.."

"When I've slept, and somehow found cloths again, we're going to go and strand him in Agrabah.." Roxas spoke, while scooting closer to his partner.

Chuckling softly, an arm reached out and wrapped itself around Roxas' back and gently tugged the other closer to him.

Normally Roxas wasn't one for any sort of public display of affection, but these were different circumstances. After all, he was only in his boxers and in the snow. So he allowed himself to get pulled closer, even venturing as far as to rest his head on the taller nobodys arm.

"Sounds good to me." Axel hummed as he glanced down and grinned.

Off in the distance, Demyx was still running around, screaming about monsters from closets trying to attack him.

"It won't kill him, since he can summon water…but it sure as hell will make him suffer."

"Maybe we can find a genie and wish him into something.." Axel offered, "I think he'd make a good piece of furniture..maybe a toaster..or a sink? Fitting.."

Reaching out, Roxas delivered a sharp jab into Axel's ribs with a finger, "We're just going to punish him a bit, not get rid of him."

A small grunt escaped the pyro, "Why not? I think Mansex would be happy."

"Oh sure, Demyx makes our lives hard..but he also annoys Xemnas and everyone else.."

Suddenly the blonde water boy reappeared, flopping down beside Axel with his infamous huge grin on his lips.

Seriously. That thing could of given Sora's cheesy grin a run for its money.

"I think it's gone! I scared it away." Demyx summarized for the two.

Axel lifted his thin brows, and decided to just go along with the idiot, "Oh Demyx, our savior! What would we do without you?"

The water infatuated nobody puffed out his chest, smacking a hand against it and exclaimed, "I AM SCAREY!"

Not being able to control himself, Axel leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I think the abominable snowman is coming back!"

That was all it took for Demyx to shriek like a little girl, bright blue eyes widened and looking around to see if it was true or not.

"Terrifying." Roxas interrupted, as he shifted and literally crawled his way into Axel's lap. "Have I ever mentioned how much I like fire?"

Number XIII seemed to be tipping into a state of mild delirium.

A smile quickly grew on the older male's lips as he moved to accommodate the short blonde as he curled up in his lap. His lanky arms snaked their way around his waist, pulling him as close as possible. "No..but do tell?" He whispered in Roxas' ear.

"You guys can take the first sleep shift! I'll stand guard!" Demyx suddenly announced, as he trudged through the snow to assumingly do so. There really was nothing for him to guard them 'against' though.

At least it kept him busy.

"S'warm…'n' fiery..'n' stuff.."

A chuckle escaped the pyro, momentarily tightening his hold on Roxas, "Mmm..you're too cute!"

In front of the campsite, Demyx had suddenly paused mid-march and turned back towards his friends. "OH oh!" His fingers dug into his pockets and pulled out a piece of paper, eyes scanning his notes quickly. As soon as he found whatever he was looking for, he tapped the paper and grinned to himself.

_CLICK!_

A bright flash blinded Axel briefly as Demyx snapped a picture of them. Confused as hell, Axel shot the blonde a glare, "What the HELL was that all about?"

"Now to sell this to Larxene tomorrow.." Demyx mumbled, moving closer to the love birds. "Hey..Axel..do you mind? Could you like..kiss his head..or rest your head on his? Oh! I know! Act like you're asleep!"

A snowball to the face quickly had Demyx on the ground, silencing him for what was sure to be not very long.

"One one: Agrabah," Roxas suddenly mumbled, shifting slightly in the redheads lap.

"That made..no sense..at all.."

"Your face."

Axel sighed, "..Just shut up and go to sleep, idiot.."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Why not? You're just going to fall asleep in two seconds anyways.."

"Do you two ever stop bickering?!"

Too bad Dem's question fell on deaf ears.

"Maybe I won't." Roxas grumbled, ignoring Demyx' question all together.

A scoff escaped Axel, "Now you just sound like a child."

A sharp yank on the redhead's hair caused him to yelp out, while Roxas called him a jerk.

A llama suddenly wandered by, grazing on what little tuffs of grass could be found in the snow. It oddly resembled Kusco.

"LLAAAMMAAAA!" Demyx screamed suddenly, shoving the video camera he had been using to tape the whole argument into his pocket.

"I think I'm hallucinating.."

There was no doubt in Axel's mind that if Roxas was hallucinating, then so was he.

Demyx suddenly waved to the pair, "I want to pet it!"

And then he was off. Marching after the llama with a march that oddly resembled that of Hitler and the Nazis.

Straightening himself up, Roxas opened his eyes completely and stared at Demyx.

"I just..don't..understand him.." Sighing, Axel rested his forehead against Roxie's shoulder.

"Aren't we..in the Land of Dragons..so..how did.." The blonde stuttered, at a complete loss of how Kusco had made an appearance.

The answer came in the form of a mumble against Roxas' shoulder, "The worlds must be all fucked up again..we can call Sora tomorrow.."

"Sora…? Why do we need him?"

"His happy smiling face fixes things? Hey..maybe if we get him to smile at the castle it'll magically be fixed!" Axel of course, though it was a great idea.

Roxas didn't think it was.

After getting nothing but a grumble for a reply, the pyro sighed and brought the blonde closer to him once more.

"Demyx makes for a crappy guard.." He suddenly mumbled, changing the subject completely. Obviously the last thing he wanted to do was talk about the happy-go-lucky-hero that he had spawned from.

"Yeah, he does. But what do we need guarding for anyways? I'll make shish kabobs out of anyone that gets close.."

"Stick'em with my keyblades and charbroil them?"

The pair laughed together for a split second before a short silence fell over them.

"Right, and I'll be fighting in a blanket toga." Roxas mused, a small grin appearing on his lips. "We can vacation to Olympus after this."

"Are you sure you want that? Toga's are easy access for molestation.."

Naturally, it was more of a warning than a threat.

Axel knew his boundaries well after countless times of getting smacked by Roxas' keyblades.

"It's that or my underwear you know."

A light chuckle escaped Axel, "Underwear is good."

"Maybe for you."

"I haven't tried anything yet, have I? You should be glad. Not to mention proud of me."

The blonde couldn't help but roll his eyes, even though Axel wouldn't be able to see it. "Yes yes, you're being good. Thank you for that. It seems you have some morals left after all.."

The compliment only seemed to raise the others ego and set him on cloud nine. "I have my moments! I'm trying not to be an ass by ruining this cute moment we're having.."

A comfortable silence fell over the pair once again after Roxas decided against making any sort of comment on what Axel had said. It was true, though. For once Axel wasn't being an asshole. It was nice, for a change, because it meant that he didn't have to beat the shit out of him.

It was a win win situation, really.

"I wonder if Demyx is okay…he's been gone for a while. It's really quiet..and that's never good."

"I'm shaking in my uncomfortable clothing."

"Or lack thereof."

"Axel, shut up."

A familiar blonde suddenly decided that now would be the perfect time to return, carrying something in his arms. It appeared to be a bundle of clothing, and a few different shades of _pink_. On top of the bundle was a pair of pink mary janes. Demyx, looking quite proud of himself, wandered over and shoved the bundle into Roxas' arms. "Got you a gift!"

Axel could feel the blonde beneath him tensing, every fiber of him wanting to reach out and strangle Demyx.

"I'm going to kill someone, and do it with a smile on my face." Roxas announced, sending a glare at Demyx that made the male shuffle back a few feet.

If looks could kill, Dem would have been long gone.

"At least we'll get to see you smile!"

Getting up, Roxas shot the redhead a dangerous look, "Axel. Shut up if you know whats good for you."

Grumbling about how beggars can't be choosers, the short nobody turned and disappeared into the tent that Axel had successfully gotten up earlier.

While Roxas was gone, Axel leaned out and held out a hand towards Demyx. The two exchanged a high-five, both of them grinning like there was no tomorrow.

In the future, some would question if getting Roxas into a Ruqun was another thing to check off on his list of notes that he had. It wasn't the case, though. That's not to say that Larxene wouldn't be cooing and petting him like a good puppy once he delivered the pictures to her that he was sure to take as soon as Roxas returned. No doubt there would be a large batch of cookies awaiting him for his faithfulness to Larxene and her quest to capture every embarrassing and intimate moment inbetween the members of Organization 13.

Yes, even Demyx had his own cunning little side that was fueled by a desire to please his sweet tooth.

Larxene and Demyx weren't the only ones that would benefit from Demyx' little act. Oh no. Axel was definitely going to enjoy every last second of Roxas wearing the girly Chinese attire.

After a few minutes, a bright faced Roxas appeared out of the tent, dressed in the completely pink Ruqun and even sporting the Mary Janes that just so happened to be his size. Not even two feet from the tent and a loud wolf whistle filled the previously quiet and stunned air.

Axel immediately regretted it, as one of the shoes hit him in the face. Blood immediately began leaking out from one side of his nose. It didn't put a damper in his spirits though, and he was soon chuckling. Obviously he found the whole thing amusing.

Who wouldn't? Well. Besides Roxas, of course.

"I hate both of you." Roxas announced, sending an icy glare at both Demyx and Axel.

Demyx once again had taken out his camera, and was taking pictures from what he deemed a 'safe distance' from the angry cross-dressing male. "But..you're warm now, aren't you?"

The chuckles had yet to recede, as the pyro pinched the bridge of his nose while watching Roxas. "Tough love."

The cross-dresser huffed, folding his arms over his stomach and the dark pink waist skirt that was tied around it. He wasn't going to admit it, but he definitely was a lot warmer now that he had clothes on. Despite the fact that they were female clothes. Roxas had decided he would have kicked Demyx' ass if he ever figured out if he had done it on purpose or if he was just **that** stupid.

"Quit pouting. It makes you look more like a girl now."

"Get stuffed."

"Love you too, cutie." Came the snickered reply, "So how much?"

He even went as far as to waggle his eyebrows at the blonde.

"I'm going to kill you once I figure out how to fight in this thing." Roxas threatened, glaring at Axel.

"Can't be much harder than our cloaks." He mused, looking down at his long leather coat.

Seriously. Xemnas had to be crazy to make them fight in these things. It was NOT easy and took a hell of a long time to figure out how.

A hopeful look crossed over Roxas' face as he asked, "Wanna trade?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you? Too bad I wouldn't."

"Selfish bastard."

"I think you'll live wearing that for one night." He mused back at the other, smirking as he continued warming himself in front of the fire that still burned in the middle of their 'make-shift- campsite.

"Do we have any food?"

"Depends on if Demyx brought any..check the bags."

Sure, they could have asked Demyx, but the blonde seemed to have off and disappeared once again. He seemed quite good at that. Perhaps it was because he knew hell was about to break out again.

"Ax. The bags are full of bottles of rum."

Climbing to his feet, Axel wandered over to the bangs and took one away from Roxas to inspect the contents. Inside the bags were numerous bottles of rum, just as he had said. "The hell..?"

Grabbing a bottle, Roxas rolled it in his hands to read the label that was on it.

'_If found return immediately to Luxord._

_Room X_

_The Castle that Never Was'_

"Possessive, isn't he?"

Axel was too busy laughing to even attempt to answer.

---------

All hell had broken loose in the Castle That Never Was. Apparently Luxord and Xigbar had just returned from fetching Vexen back from SeaWorld. The mission had been a success, after a few hours of negotiating with the owner that Vexen was indeed not some kind of new rare breed of toad. The owner had finally decided to give Vexen back, as he wouldn't be worth the investing that would be needed to give him a home at the place anyways.

Luxord had of course, gone straight for his stash of rum, declaring that he was getting 'too old' to deal with stupid missions that involved saving people who should be capable of getting out of messes themselves.

When he had gotten to where his stash normally was, he found that it wasn't there.

Needless to say, he tore apart his room, and then deemed it necessary to destroy the entire castle in search of his precious rum.

Larxene had decided to saunter in at the wrong time, the smug grin on her lips quickly disappearing as she saw the Brit was on a rampage. Of course, she knew why, and she immediately turned to high tail it back on out to hide until it was over.

Honestly, he was worse than Axel when the hairspray was out!

Luxord grabbed hold of an unfortunate Lexaeus, who had decided to cross paths with the blonde at the _wrong_ time.

"WHERE IS THE BLOODY RUM!?" He shrieked at the much taller and bulkier nobody.

"Gone?" The stunned nobody offered as an answer.

Wrong answer.

Luxord released the male and shrieked, "BUT WHY IS THE RUM ALWAYS GONE?!"

---------

"Well..since it appears we don't have food..do you want to head into the local town and find something?"

"The last thing I want to do is go into _public_, Axel."

A snort escaped the redhead, "But you're hungry."

"And you aren't? You're a bottomless fucking pit." Roxas argued, as always.

They always argued. About **everything**.

"I vote we go to town!"

And Demyx was one again back, from wherever he had gone off to. He looked quite happy with himself too. Was that anything new, though?

Not really.

"So it's settled. To town we go!"

Before Roxas could even argue, he felt fingers intertwining with his and a tug, jolting him into falling in step beside the redhead. Shaking his head, Roxas couldn't help but get the feeling that things were just going to get worse as the day went by. Certainly a trip into a town dressed in females clothing wasn't going to do any good, either.

"Hey look, a camp!" Demyx exclaimed, pointing in front of them.

He was right, too. A camp was straight ahead, and it appeared that some sort of army inhabited it. There was quite a lot of men walking about, doing various tasks. Some carried water, others were shooting at targets with their bows and arrows, and others were just sitting around a campfire chatting.

"Come on, lets go say hi! They can point us in the direction of food!"

"Demyx, wait! No!" Axel's words fell on deaf ears though, as the blonde was already racing straight into the center of the camp.

Wolf whistles and cat calls filled the air as Axel and Roxas made their way into the camp, trying to catch up with the over excited nobody.

These men, obviously in the army, hadn't seen a female in months.

Roxas concluded that in these months they all forgot that a female had anatomy that differed from males. They obviously couldn't see that he did not have a womanly figure.

Axel would disagree though, as he thought Roxas had quite the feminine body. Short, curvy, and a nice ass. The only thing he lacked was the sacks of fat dangling from his chest, but Axel was glad for that. Quite frankly, he found those quite unattractive.

It was taking everything in Roxas not to lash out at the men as they continued whistling at him as he walked by them. By now they had gained most of the camps attention, and Demyx was nowhere to be seen. Roxas was going to murder that man as soon as he found him.

And at the same time, it was taking everything in Axel to not burst the entire campsite on fire. If its one thing he could and would not tolerate, it was people hitting on **his** Roxas. Axel was very much a possessive person, especially over those he cared about. Especially those who were claiming the official title of his boyfriend. There wasn't much he could say though, as it HAD been his idea to go find a nearby town to get food.

Possessively, Axel slid a lanky arm around Roxas' waist. It was a pitiful attempt at getting the men to back the hell off and stop with all the wolf whistles.

"Daamn, knock that babe up!"

"She's lookin' mighty fineee!"

"Bet she's good in bed!"

"Heey, mind if we borrow the pretty lady for a while?"

A grab was made at Roxas, and the blonde yelped as his ass was grabbed by large hands that were defiantly not Axel's.

"I'LL CASTRATE YOU!"

"Now now, Roxie, that is no way for a lady to act in public.." Axel purred in the blonde's ear, a devious smirk forming on his lips.

A second later and half of the camp had exploded into flames, the men all dashing for the hills to escape a 'demon'.

"Nobody touches Roxie except me, got it memorized?!" Axel declared, spinning his chakrams while laughing hysterically as the men all ran from him.

So much for getting food.

"Axel. Have you ever heard of the words 'overkill'?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Rox." The pyro answered, chakrams disappearing from his hands. It wasn't long before an arm had once more snaked its way around Roxas' waist.

A sigh left the blonde as he gave the pyro a fond look, "How are we going to find out where the town is, now?"

"We raid their food."

---------

Demyx was deemed the person to lug all the food back, seeing as it was his fault the whole incident had happened in the first place. As soon as they had gotten back, him and Roxas worked together to figure out what was edible and what wasn't.

Pyro's had bad judgment on what was capable of being eaten or not, apparently.

That and they didn't want him eating it all when they weren't watching. Axel was just that predictable.

After the food was sorted and passed out between the three, Roxas once again retreated back into Axel's lap in front of the fire and curled into his human heater. "Can we please go back tomorrow?"

"Yeah! I have to get my cookies from Larxene!"

"Right..yeah. Anyways.." Mumbled the pyro as he bit into a dinner roll, leaning back to make sure not to drop crumbs into Roxas' hair. "I'm tired."

"I'm wiidddeee awakkee!" Demyx announced from a few feet away, sitting on the other side of the fire, in between shoving his face with the food he had been given.

A sudden weight collapsed against Axel's chest, causing his attention to drift to the heap of blonde nobody that was in his lap. "Rox?"

There was a muffled mumble as the blonde mumbled against Axel.

A chuckle escaped the pyro as he set his food down, moving slowly as to not irritate the blonde using him as a pillow. "I think its time to put someone to bed." Turning his attention to Demyx, he pointed at the fire and eyed the blonde. "Put it out when you're finished eating and go to bed. Don't stay up all night."

Demyx grinned, waving a hand at Axel, as he was unable to speak due to a mouthful of chicken.

Scooping up the younger nobody in his arms, Axel carried him bridal style into the tent. Once inside, he gently set Roxas down on one of the blankets that he had dug out earlier and laid out on the floor.

Almost immediately the blonde reached up, yanking Axel down onto the floor by an arm. "S'cold, damnit! Get over here, fucking pyro." The blonde mumbled, a single blonde eye opening to find out where Axel was and how to get him closer for warmth.

Chuckling, Axel laid down on his back beside the blonde. Almost immediately he felt a smaller body scooting into his awaiting arms, curling into his side. An arm came to rest across his lean stomach while one of his legs draped itself over Axel's. As soon as Roxas was comfortable, he pulled a blanket over them, even though he really didn't need it.

Idly Axel fiddled with the tousled blonde hair of his partner, a content smile on his lips. "Rox?"

All he got was a grunt.

"Look at me. Rox?"

There was a sigh, but Axel found himself soon looking into the gaze of half open blue eyes.

"You really do look cute."

Roxas rolled his eyes, lifting himself up just enough to place a gentle kiss on the others lips.

Before Axel could even savor it, or attempt to get a little action going, Roxas had retreated and was nuzzling back into his side.

"Will you go to sleep now, Ax?"

**The End.**

---------

**AU:**

Lulz.My brains dead. I hate the ending. D

I really need to finish the OTHER fics I have...


End file.
